Joe Public: Joe Public stories about Joepub's trying to fit in a world outside of their own

Dirt Bikes and snow - a bad mix?

How is it that Dirt Bikers can enter both the Winter and Summer X Games? All that's required are 2 different sets of tires. I'm sure the snowmachine-bilers don't agree with this.
Forgive me for being one sided, but when one says Winter X Games, Dirt Bikes are not the first thing that comes to mind -- It's those dirt bag looking lunch-try hucksters that do (see below)

I) Joe Dirt does a no-footed backflip to one-handed landed nack nack superman tootsie roll with both eyes closed.

II) Tara Dakides, one of the hotter lunch tray huckers out there, will be in Aspen all week. Dirt bag; i think not. Road trip!

III) Joe Dirtbag -- Dooood, wassup Brah. Killer. Aight. Later man.

Breckenridge - Adventures from Joe Slider

I made the mistake of traveling outside my comfort area. I went to one of the busiest resorts on planet earth – no lie. Breakbackenridge. Longlineseverywhere-enridge. Iwishiweredead-enridge. Sure, Breckenridge has some lovely runs to throw yourself down, but I’m not sure if it’s worth running into (literally) all the putz’s out on the hill.
Let’s start with Mr 65 year old up on Horseshoe Bowl. First off, if a ski run has ‘bowl’ anywhere in the name, most likely it’s advanced terrain. Anyways, watching ‘Joe Slider’ coast 95% of the run on his ass was priceless. Given, I was able to laugh due to the extraordinarily large run-out area at the bottom of the bowl. Slider sure was lucky this bowl was tree-less. Mr. Slide’r got up, brushed off his one-piece snowsuit, and was certain he headed back to the same lift line that dropped him off at the top of the bowl. Way to get back on the horse -- :rolleyes:

Ski-a-bowl:

I’m headed to Crested Butte this weekend! Please check back for a full report. Secret Stash, here we come!

Sledding at Berthoud Pass - Good Riddance

I believe I mentioned something about this in an earlier post.... Holy crap, it finally happened. What are the JP's from the Y supposed to do now? Don't worry, i'm sure the Joe Pub's will firgure out plan B. He's a hint, go down to the Fraser Tubing hill, pay the 10 bones, leave town without a broken neck.
On a serious note, i've personally seen some serious brainless activity happening up on the pass. I have absolutely no respect for morons that put Flight for Life copter pilots in danger because some fuking goob hit a port-o-poti at Mach 5.

IDAHO SPRINGS, Colo. (AP) - The Forest Service said Thursday it was banning sledding and tubing at the former Berthoud Pass ski area following a number of serious accidents.

Violations could result in fines up to $5,000 for individuals.

Visitors can still ski, snowshoe, snowboard and hike at the former ski area on the Continental Divide.

Daniel Lovato, Clear Creek district ranger for the Arapaho National Forest, did not say how many people have been injured sledding there recently but said injuries have been so severe that patients have had to be flown to hospitals by helicopter.

Ski Town USA

Chapped lips and a hang-over

I hit the slopes (no, not Asians) on bitterly cold Sunday. I skied about 4 hours in all spread out over the whole day. I witnessed some interesting interactions but not much worth mentioning. Ok, maybe just a small rant...
Reflection A:
Lucky me for getting stuck on a lift with a metro-sexual runner-up with no ski cap on with the COOL short hair doo that is pushed up towards the middle copying a pathetic mini-mohawk popularized by Mr Firestone while on the Bachelor. Mind you, it was about -15 degrees with a brisk 50 knot wind coming from the west. I’m not sure if he was trying to impress da girlfriend or Joe Pub by trying to make ‘local talk’ the whole way up an 8 minute ride. OK, big deal. You own 15 mountain bikes and happen to spend some time in my woods. Seriously dude, you lost me after what type of bolts you use to fasten on your kick-stand. I could care-less how you spent last weekend biking in the flatlands. I don’t wanna hear the I-wish-it-was-summer while I’m skiing goddammit :pushofflift:
Thanks for the kicks man; I almost had nothing to report on today.
At least the girlfriend was cool. Sorry, no pics.
Reflection B:
Lift line courtesy… (oxymoron)
Can you read this sign?

Good. Obviously, 95% of the Joe Pub’s out there have no clue of how to alternate turns in lift lines. Look Joe Texan, I know lift line stalls are confusing :rolleyes: but we’re all trying to get to the same spot. Throw me a freakin bone -- leave the ski rage for the highway and let me pass because it’s my fuking turn!!! How can I forget the ole adage: go on vacation, leave your brains at home.

Saturday, in the park

Got in the halfpipe on Saturday. Talk about fish out of the sea. Man, it was icy and faster than imagined. But i just went with the flow and made a few turns.
Other than that, not much to report on the Joey Goober side. All the JP's were on the low down and i couldn't figure out why.
Oh that's right... I made it down to the base village and that's where I got my days' worth of moronic activity. WOW. I wished i would have busted out the ole digicam to show you all some proof.
Here's a few of Saturday's observations...

Observation A: ~30 year old with skis from 1980 but the binders were relatively new??? They looked something like this:

I could not figure out why someone would drag these out of the burn pile and actually spend money on getting them re-mouted with modern bindings???Get a clue dude. I would expect this out of my ole hunky grandpa, but not from a dude that's 33.

Observation B: all you cheap ass treehugging telemarkers better get with it and upgrade your old rusted 1986 converted alpine to tele skiis. I see wheyyyyy to many should-be-inducted-into-the-worst-skiis-of-all-time-hall-of-shame planks out there like this:

Serioulsy tele-brothers, you have no idea how much you're hurting yourselves by skiing on shite like this! And i don't wanna hear noise like 'oh, they work fine for the type of terrain i ski and my level ability'. BS. Continue to flail and not push yourself. What do i care. Maybe you'll just quit tele'ing all togther and stop making my sport so goddamn mainstream.

LATE

Artist at work

Joe Pub on Ja Roll at Bert Pass

JP's at Berthoud Pass?

You might spot some JP's up on Berthoud Pass - SLED RIDING that is, not skiing.

XMas Lights Scam

Dood is right over here in my neck of the woods. Had me fooled...

Fuk you Ofoto.com

I'm trying another online photo storage facility becuase ofoto does not play well with others. Here goes:

Outerwear

Why do you folks insist on wearing these hats? Come on JPs; you're like 35 years old!
Exhibit A:

Exhibit B: (what's he like 40? My point exactly)

Extra Credit: WTF. Seriously

Thanks BreckenridgeHatCompany

My first name is Ima - Ima going to lie up a storm

Always remember to lie about things you know about.

And why are all of you JP's experts at everything?

My other Blog

If you really want to waste some time, please check out this blog:
http://treehu55er.blogspot.com/

Who is JP?

For the most part, this blog will represent stories, thoughts and just general everyday worded tours of my addiction - skiing.

Why Joe Pub? Short for my alias - Joe Public.
A Joe Public is considered a normal (or very abnormal) everyday Jones who simply loses touch with reality when they try to fit in a world outside of their own. Joe Pubs are visable everywhere but mostly make fools of themselves while on vacation.
I am the Anti Joe Public. I am way cooler.

You have no idea how many Joe Pub's I run into while out on the hill. I will attempt to re-create my interactions with all you JP's about JP's with JP's - nevermind.

I'm must confess, I claim some off-the-wall shit while out playing. Given, I need someplace to tell my stories. For the most part, all will be the truth but what fun is that?
Why the fuk do I enjoy lying to all you gullible shits on the lift ride up and elsewhere??? I enjoy your initial reactions to first impressions of me. I can preach just about anything short of saying I'm GW and 'ya'll' will believe me. Good times I figure.
Anyhow, here goes.